I Have Ears But They're Broken

Hi all, I'm Austin and I'm a Senior here at BYU studying Animation. I've loved my time at BYU, and I will treasure what is left of my time here. I'm profoundly Deaf myself, and I use American Sign Language as my primary source of communication. Growing up, my family learned ASL and, most times, I've always had access to communication wherever I go. I went to a Deaf school, and I took some classes at a nearby public school with an ASL interpreter. It's safe to say that I've experienced both worlds before I came here to BYU as a freshman.  I knew that I would be entering a completely different world at a major private university with 30 thousand students. I had no idea if they were aware of Deaf people like me, and upon my arrival, there were only 6 other Deaf students. I was pretty sure there are some people here at BYU would not know what to do when they encounter a Deaf person like me. I learned that VERY quickly my freshmen year.  A lot of them didn't know how to react, and tried some things that didn't help. For instance, I told a person that I'm Deaf by signing "I'm Deaf."  Usually, they would get out a pen and find some kind of paper and hand it to me.  Several times here at BYU, they decided to speak louder hoping that I would hear it.  Um... you don't yell at a rock telling it to move.  Instead, you pick it up, and move it.  Some people here don't seem willing to meet halfway, or even try to accommodate my needs just because they're clueless or not even educated about this issue. I've encountered people who thought I couldn't drive, read, talk, or do simple everyday tasks. 

The truth is that I can drive, I can read, I can talk (not that great though, I prefer ASL) and I can take care of myself.  Thankyouverymuch.  

I know... Maybe you're a little confused about why I have ears if they're broken?  Well, I like my ears, and I use them to hold my glasses. I also enjoy the feeling when I put a q-tip into my ears, and I can wiggle them-- but not as great as President Monson does. Being Deaf has been normal for me my entire life.  I've never experienced the world you all hear everyday. Sometimes I meet people that know how to sign, and it makes things so much easier! Sometimes I don't, but if they act normally and accommodate me properly, it makes my day much easier.  Here are some of the steps you should take when you encounter a Deaf person here at BYU:

1.  Don't freak out.  

2.  If they ask for a pen and paper, and you speak back. I will do this. 

3.  Trying to speak louder or clearer makes you look like this.

4.  You don't have to sign back if you don't know ASL.

5.  Seriously, don't do this. This freaks us out.

6.  This is how I feel when you keep talking to me after telling you that I'm Deaf several times.

7.  If you feel like this, read #8-10.

8.  Kindly recognize that he/she is Deaf, get a paper and pen out so you two can write to each other.

9.  If you know some ASL, don't be afraid to use it. We don't bite!

10. Trying to use some gestures can actually work.  Don't be afraid.  It's like magic.

If you see a Deaf person with a face like this:

then you're probably doing something wrong.  Read steps #8-10 again. 

Now, is ASL hard to learn? No. It's pretty easy, and you can take a class here at BYU.  We have a pretty big program, and we also even have an ASL club too.  

I hope this helps and that it'll help spread the knowledge to everyone at BYU on how to deal with Deaf people.

Austin  

Let Us Eat Cake

The following post is written by Jasmine Fullmer, a student majoring in acting at BYU. 

Innnnn...North Orem City, born and raised. On the stage is where I spent most of my days. Chillin out max and relaxin' all cool and going to rehearsals right after school. 

Okay, enough of that. I would describe myself as a jack of a few trades and master of eating. I am currently an acting major and I am passionate about being passionate. Everything I do, I love to do whole heartedly, whether it is performing in a show or devouring a piece of cake. I love people and doing new things and that makes me sound extremely generic, but I mean it. What makes me unique? The fact that I am the only one of "me" there is ever going to be. That's pretty dang unique. Even though that is how everyone is. *sigh*

For me, the most challenging part of being a part of the BYU community is trying not to care. It is this vicious cycle that I go through. I try not to care what others think about me. I try not to care if I do not get asked out on dates. I try not to care that I am not top of my game consistently. I try not to care if I am not as successful as those around me. By doing this, I end up caring about not caring. This leaves me caring even more than I originally cared and it is a pretty stupid situation all around.

The main adversity that I have faced in our campus culture is trying to be perfect and failing. It seems like everyone here is trying to be perfect. And for a good reason! We are all trying to be like the Savior, who was perfect. However, the purpose of this life isn't to be perfect. It is to love everyone around us and do our best to rely on the Atonement in our imperfections (this doesn't mean we get to abuse the repentance process, it just means we are going to need it every day, no matter how hard we try). I think we see others around us who seem to be perfect and we tend to hate them for it because we want it in ourselves. And more often than not, they are feeling just as frustrated and inadequate as us.

Have I ever felt alone or unwanted at BYU? Absolutely. My freshman year was the worst time, but even since then there are moments when I feel completely alone. This is hard in the church because people say, "You are never alone, you have the Savior." While this is true, sometimes you really need someone there physically to ease the loneliness. And I had a hard time finding that here.

I’ll be honest. There have not been many resources that helped me feel welcome and loved. I found it mostly through my major and the relationships and bonds I built there. I had professors that truly cared about my well-being. I was able to make friends with those I was performing with. My roommates were also a large part of helping me out of my “freshman funk” and for that I will always be grateful. I was lucky in my major and roommates to be surrounded by so many fantastic and quality people.

If you are feeling alone or unwelcome at BYU, nothing is wrong with you. This doesn’t make you odd or strange or anything like that. I would say find something that you love and immerse yourself in it. Find people you enjoy being around and have adventures. There will be times you don’t feel like it. Sometimes it is okay to stay home. But try to push yourself as much as you can. Make memories, make friends, and keep trying. It will be hard, but it will be worth it in the end.

"I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school...I wish we could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat it and be happy..." But seriously, my one wish for the BYU community would be if we could all remember everyone is trying their best to be their best. In the words of the great Hannah Montana, nobody’s perfect. If we could keep this in mind, I think there would be a more positive atmosphere here at BYU. 

Jasmine Fullmer

Serving in my Nation’s Military: What is Right May Not Always be Popular

Growing up with the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I developed a huge testimony of service.  As a teenager, trying to decide what I wanted to do in the future, being a full time missionary, serving in the military, and being a mother were at the top of my list. These were roles I heard praised time after time at church. I saw these three forms of service as extremely important to incorporate in my life.   According to the value system I grew up in, all three of these desires were just and noble. That was why I was surprised by the negative response I received from many students at BYU as I worked to pursue these goals.

I joined the Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps a semester before I left to serve an LDS mission. I noticed the first day I showed up at ROTC physical training that there were few women in the program. The BYU Air Force ROTC program normally is made up of around 5% women. This is unusually low. In the entire Air Force about 20% of officers are women. Because of the BYU ROTC gender ratio, many cadets and classmates were not used to seeing women in the ROTC program. BYU’s ROTC program, for some reason, has a high attrition rate for female cadets, so other cadets expected me to drop out as well. When I told others that I was planning on leaving the program for 18 months to serve an LDS mission, many told me they did not expect me to come back. They told me that I would probably get married after serving the mission and therefore not finish the ROTC program. I was surprised by their flawed reasoning. Several of the men who told me this had served as missionaries, were married, and were in the ROTC program, yet because of my gender they thought that I would not succeed in doing all these things as well. The most hurtful comment, that I heard several times, was that I was going against the teachings of the LDS church because I was a woman joining the military. This of course is not true. The church, in fact, is currently working to strengthen its programs for women in the military, but at the time these comments made me feel confused and discouraged. “What is a good LDS woman doing in the military?” several men had asked me. I made this decision because I really wanted to do what was right, and people judged me as disobedient for it.

To clarify, these attitudes were not shared by all cadets or students at BYU, but the handful of people who were vocal about this concerned me.  I realized that if I did ever drop out of ROTC, I would just help feed that stereotype. I also realized that if I did ever choose to leave the LDS church, I would feed the idea that “good LDS women” should not serve in the military. I instead worked to strengthen my testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and the church’s teachings on serving one’s country. The more I studied and prayed, the more I knew that making the decision to serve was right. Because of this adversity, I became even more determined to be the best woman I could be.

I am proud to say that next year I will commission as a second lieutenant serving as a leader in the United States Air Force. I am also happy to see that the BYU Air Force ROTC program has become very welcoming towards women, although still very few women join. The officers who teach us in the ROTC program had been very concerned about the negative attitude many women faced at BYU and have worked hard to address this problem. Cadets have learned that the United States Air Force is a place that encourages both men and women to join and that the idea that women should not serve does not belong in our nation’s military. 

I encourage BYU students to remember that what is right may not always be popular. I grew up hearing this in high school, but it still applies to BYU. Just because many people around you have an opinion of something, even if you share the same values, doesn’t make it right. It is up to you to find for yourself, through study, ponder, and prayer, whether it is right. When you know what is right, have the courage to stand alone if you must.

Rachael Bakaitis

My Experience as a Non-Member at BYU

The following post is written by Joshua O'Hare, a Junior at BYU studying film. Josh is from Oroville, California and is a non-LDS student. 

My senior year of high school, I had four different colleges that I was considering: Chico State in Northern California, Biola in Southern California, Berkeley in Central California, and BYU in Utah.  They each had their merits and their…not so savory qualities.  Chico State is cheap and close to home which is good. And bad. It also doesn’t have exactly what I want to study.  Biola is a great University and has a film program. Good. But it’s expensive.  $30,000 tuition. Ouch.  Berkeley. Beautiful campus, incredible diversity, great curriculum. Still expensive. Also, it’s kind of a party school which just isn’t my thing.  Lastly, BYU.  Nice area, new place, nice people, good curriculum, great price.  But Mormons. Bleh.  When considering what my path should be this was a big factor.  I had Mormon friends. I knew a little about them. But did I want to live with them? Did I want to be the infidel?  I finally made the decision to come to BYU because I figured that with all the other good things, I could live with the Mormon thing.  I’m glad I made that choice.

I have had great experiences here in Provo.  As well as learning the scholastics in class, I’ve also learned a lot about myself.  My first semester was not very fun.  I had no friends.  I had not moved out here with anyone and I wasn’t meeting people through church like everyone else was.  I had my roommates but they had their own things to do and two of them were from Utah so they went home all the time.  The best thing I ever did here was talk to someone from my FHE group.  Once we became friends, I had someone to talk to and have fun with.  And through this connection I made more friends.  I met a lot of people in my ward and started going to ward activities and meeting new people that I really loved. 

One of the most important things to do in college is make friends.  We’re not meant to go it alone.  Though classes and intellectual learning is extremely important, the social aspect of college does not have to be a detriment.  I found that my studies got better just because my outlook improved.  I began enjoying class a lot more and paying more attention.  My days seemed to go by quicker because now my weekends were filled with friends and fun rather than sitting around watching TV.  I didn’t tell anyone I wasn’t a member for a few months though.  I did this just because I wanted them to know me for who I was and not know me as the non-member guy.  Once I told them, my friends didn’t care.  They were just interested in why I was here and what I believed.  It didn’t change the relationship at all and it was nice to know that they knew and didn’t c
are.

My experience here at BYU has been socially and intellectually engaging.  Though many think that all non-members go into BYU to come out as members, I have remained the same guy and don’t expect a change.  While it sometimes feels like everyone is trying to convert me, I know that I am accepted here no matter what.  My friends like me for me and not for my religion.  A good thing that I did before coming to BYU was independent research on the LDS Church.  It helped me understand the people here better and the culture shock was not as big of a deal.  I’ve also grown in my own faith because of the challenges that are made against my beliefs being a non-member. 

Looking back now, coming to BYU was a great decision I made.  It has improved me in many different areas and I really believe it is where I’m supposed to be!

Joshua O'Hare

BYUnity

BYUnity is a division of BYUSA that works on unifying students across campus.

This blog is for all BYU students. It is a forum where BYU students can share their unique BYU perspectives and submit their unique stories. These posts are designed to be uplifting and to open our eyes to the many different backgrounds, challenges, circumstances and lives of the students we walk past on campus every day.

If you think you would like to contribute to this site, email us at byuexperiences@byu.edu. We will give you the guide for writing a post and you might just see your story featured on this site!